I am the kind of person that likes to connect on a deeper
level with people and if I am not able to then I get bored quite quickly. I
have always been that way. When I was small I was always intrigued by people
who were able to look me in the eyes and talk to me and want to know me even
though I was shy and quiet and timid. One of my biggest challenges is that
people are not always open to connecting on a deeper level.
Perhaps it’s because they do not know themselves on a deeper
level?
Until the age of 29 I was watching the movie of life through
glasses that other people had put on for me. And at age 29 through a deep dark
process I decided what I wanted my life to look like. I decided what kind of
people I wanted in my life and what life actually meant to me.
Before that life didn't mean much. Quite honestly it meant
nothing. Earth felt like a place that was forced on to me by my parents who
selfishly conceived me (I know I know I know) and that there was no reason for
me to be here. Then I found a little word called transparency.
I asked myself why I was actually holding back. And it was
then that I finally found purpose through being honest with myself. I wanted to
tell people and show people how this can too change their lives but it didn't always
work that way. I wrote and wrote and I was even ridiculed by some of my “closest
friends” asking me why on earth I was putting all my personal stuff out there
for the world to see when “that kind of stuff” stuff should be spoken about in private.
The thing is that people are actually looking for a way to express
themselves without being judged. People are looking for others who will accept
them for who they are not for how many followers they have on a social network
for example.
Opening up is probably one of the biggest risks you can take
because you don’t know how others will respond and what they will think of you.
What if they realise you aren't the person they thought you were. Well in my
case I think that was a good thing. I was unapproachable to some extent and
closed off and when I began to share my life I revealed my mask as hard as it
was.
I know how it is to want to hide. To hide from myself from people
and from life because there were things I was ashamed of. I had secrets that I didn't want people to know about. I had issues. I wanted my life to seem perfect.
Connecting is about sharing yourself, all of yourself and I
am not saying you have to treat everyone as a therapist but at the same time the
fact is we all crave intimacy on some level and that doesn't mean just sexual
it means being close to people, letting people see us and acknowledge us and we
crave being our ourselves. Intimacy happens through sharing who we are.
We all
have a story to tell and we are all looking for people to share our stories
with, our lives with. We are looking for understanding and closeness, as humans
do and that happens through sharing and transparency.
